By his FRUIT (Matthew 7:16)

The words from the ONE who considers my every sigh. Happy Father's Day to all of you dads out there! I pray you feel celebrated, respected, and loved by all who cross your path...no more today than any other. Lately I've been asking God, 'How will I ever see you in ______ again?" For me, that blank would be filled in with "another relationship." God answered my heart today. "By his FRUIT. You'll know by his FRUIT." It was kind of funny how it all came about for me. Today is Father's Day, and when you are in love with a man, truly believing you'll never have to date another, naturally he finds a place in your heart and surfaces at the most opportune and inopportune times. I drove to church and I just have to say God has a crazy but often frustrating sense of humor, and I've learned to expect and even welcome it to interrupt my life. I am not my own and I was made by Him and for Him.

In June of 2009, I received a letter from that man writing from the perspective of his circumstances. I wanted to not only be done with him, but I wanted his name out of my life. God did far more than just call me into prison ministry because of him. After over 3 1/2 years, I have NO regrets. God uses EVERYTHING! God said no in the most beautiful and painful ways...and that was not the first time I said I was done and God said I was not. His letter was written on Father's Day.

So on June 28th of 2009, I was up at my mom's and decided that it was time to find a second church to call home, for the times I am away from home. I typed in Canton churches and the first to pop up was REVOLUTION CHURCH. I look at three things when visiting a church site. I want to know the beliefs, the vision, and I want to hear a message from a past teaching. I clicked over to the message archive and said out loud, "Of course God, Pastor Preston Porter. You're funny." That would have been an immediate turnoff seeing the pastor carry the same name I wanted out of my life, but something in me said to check it out. It appeared that maybe he was just a guest pastor as they searched for a new pastor. I didn't want him to be there, but I just knew. I walked in and I just knew he'd be speaking. Sure enough, it read, "Pastor Preston Porter Connections Pastor." Everything in me wanted to walk out, but God said no. He walked on the stage and again I said, "Of course he's about 6 ft 8 inches and looks like he could be Preston's brother or even twin. You're funny God." I'm glad I didn't walk out that day, because Revolution is incredible. The music is inviting toward men, believing that if you get the leader, the family will follow. The messages are real, raw, honest, and Bible based. The staff are all welcoming, and the vision is amazing. I am proud to call Revolution my home. ...Though I love it, this is not a promo for my church ;) ...it's about what God spoke to my heart on that soil.

The last thing I needed today, was to not only have his name in my path, but for this to be the day that our new pastor Jason Gerdes didn't speak...and for Pastor Porter to stand in for him. BUT it was exactly what I needed all at the same time. He's usually the first to greet me after walking through the door, and usually the one to pray before the service. I know Pastor Preston Porter by his fruit. I didn't go to school with him, or have any sense of history with his name in my path. I volunteered to serve by loving on the babies while their parents attended church. I used to rock his little girl Whitney and tell her how much God loved her..often singing or humming worship songs to her. I was one of the only women who could give her her bottle without her spitting it up, because she had a sensitive stomach and I remained sensitive to her needs. Whitney had to be burped after every ounce in the beginning, or she'd lose every ounce. Pastor Porter's wife, Laney, would stop in to see her, but she'd hide so she wouldn't cry. Preston would do the same, but there was no hiding him, so he would smile at her, or just check on her and walk out.

I am a huge people watcher, and I know Pastor Porter by his fruit. Laney is loved and respected, and in return she honors him with everything she has in her...even with 4 kids. The two of them are a beautiful picture of God's design for our lives in marriage, as mothers and fathers, and as children of God. Preston's wife knows she's loved, and you can feel it in her presence. She is both his bride and best friend. ...and his kids know that he will NEVER leave them. They all look like their daddy and their daddy's fruit says he has ONE Father. Jesus knew abandonment, so we would never have to. Our God is in relentless pursuit of us, being the prime example of how we should love our kids. My pastor, Kevin Myers of 12stone says, "Your past may help to explain you, but it doesn't excuse you." If only more fathers would allow that truth to sink in, I wouldn't be visiting so many fatherless young men and women in our local jails and prisons.

Matthew 7:16 says, "By their fruit you will recognize them." The word for fruit there is KARPOS. It appears in the New Testament 66 times. In classical Greek it means literally "fruit" product, result, gain. The Hebrew word is the fruit of trees, and in Matthew 7:16, the literal and figurative converge. In this passage of scripture it is referring to false prophets. AKARPOS would translate to "unfruitful." What God spoke to my heart was that no matter his name whether it be that God would put the man I have loved all these years in a place to love and lead me well, or another...I WILL know him by his FRUIT and be confident of God's presence. My pastor, Kevin Myers says, "You behave what you believe." It is not enough to believe in what a man is capable of bearing for fruit. The fact is we are always producing fruit, but the condition is dependent upon what we plant in our lives. I still believe in that man to this day, and I know I have planted well in him. I strive to plant His word in my life, and be about the things of His heart. A woman should see a man's fruit. She should see the result of his planting knowing we don't grow ANYTHING. Some may say that fruit is not about how a person acts, but in the the message they carry. To that I would say that I pray that even strangers would be able to see the message I carry without me opening my mouth. A message of HOPE. I live to get their attention with His truth. God uses gifts of photography, writing, and the passion for prison ministry and the poor to work through me. ...but if my message is not clear, I have failed. I cannot do anything to cause God to love me more. He knows all of my thoughts and loves me anyway. That same word KARPOS is used in John 15:5. "I am the vine, and my Father is the gardener. He cuts off every branch in me that bears no fruit, while every branch that does bear fruit (karpos) he prunes so that it will bear even more fruit."

Pastor Porter's message was entitled, "The Son Knows the Father." He spoke about how we should lavish love on our kids far before we discipline them. He talked about the message he wants to communicate to his son, by using a story about his reaction to drinks spilling. He knows that ultimately he is only a steward of his kids, but he stewards well. I am confident that both Pastor Porter and Pastor Myers are raising kids who will produce fruit with Kingdom impact, because they are planting for a huge harvest.

Whether God decides to move mountains in my story with Preston, or begin a new chapter with a new love, I trust Him with the details. I'm thankful to have so many pastors in my life to demonstrate God's design. Pastors Preston Porter, Kevin Myers, Kevin Queen, Dan Self, Jason Gerdes...just to name a few. A man who is practicing faithfulness long before marriage, who is working with the understanding that someday he will be called to provide, is serving a cause he is passionate about, stewarding and planting well, and allowing God center stage in every arena of life...that is KARPOS, and should be the desire of every woman's heart. "By his FRUIT," I hear you God. Continue to mold me into a Proverbs 31 woman."